Alli & Genine have been ‘cougared’…

20 Mar

With our first book coming out soon and a gaggle of fab new friends here in the world of Alli and Genine, we thought we would revisit a couple of ‘oldies but goodies’ blog posts. This has to be one of our favourites – and apparently it’s yours too. Yep, Alli’s confessing to being a cougar!

We have been astounded by the number of hits this posts continues to recieve months after it was posted. In fact, one of the most popular search engine terms directing people to our site is ‘cougar’ (closely followed by ‘big butts’, unfortunately).

It just goes to show that either there are heaps of blokes out there looking for a bit of ‘older lady’ action, lots of ladies who are nervously considering taking on a ‘toy-‘boy’, or simply, that this term still fascinates us  all. Who knew that the ‘older woman, younger man’ topic was so interesting?

Take a read (or re-read) of Alli’s post from 2011 … and yes, she still is a cougar. (Just don’t tell her I called her that!) Genine x

Please don’t call me a cougar

Yes, I have a younger husband. There, I said it. He’s younger, by a fair few years. Not enough to technically put me in the ‘cougar’ category (more than 10 years older, so says – google ‘cougar’ … it’s hilarious!), despite many a label thrown my way, but enough to make me eternally paranoid.

This is how conversations go with new friends when they learn about our seven-ish year age difference.

They say: Oh, Simon’s younger … so you’re a cougar?

I hear: Oh, Simon’s younger … so you’re a sad, old, lonely predator who covets pretty young things?

Yep, paranoid! Although, admittedly, I’m not half as paranoid as I used to be. Back in the early days, about eight ago when we first started dating, I was terrified people would think less of me because Simon was younger. I didn’t want to be one of ‘those women’ who covets younger men. I was a little embarrassed … and a lot confused. Why would such a hot, young guy want to be with this ageing soon-to-be divorcee?

Apparently Jesus is happy with the cougar-thing

For the record, Simon is my first ‘younger man’. There I was, leaving an unhappy marriage, and on my way out I tripped over my now-husband. It was a complete accident! He was young, cute, divinely naïve, and not looking to settle down. Bingo! I was looking for an ‘I’ve left my husband now what the hell do I do?’ distraction, so he seemed like a safe (and oh, so good-looking) option.

It was supposed to be first in a long line of ‘self discovery relationships’. I needed a bit of ‘who am I and where am I going?’ time. But eight years later, that ‘toy boy fling’ is my husband and the father of my adorable son. Whoops! Best laid plans and all that …

Anyway, back to my years of paranoia.

If someone even glanced at us when we were out and about I’d have a mini meltdown. “Oh my God, did you see that guy? He is looking at us funny ‘cause I’m older than you. Is it that obvious? Honey? Do I look THAT old?”

Over time, I better accepted our age difference and took a new approach to having a younger partner … upsizing! For about eight years, Simon has believed he is at least one year older than he really is (ie. when he was 25 he thought he was 26!). Poor guy, I honestly think he has lost track of his actual age! Just a little bit of mathematical rounding up …

Did the 'cougar thing' get in the way Ashton?

Okay, so one measly year doesn’t really make a difference on the, “Do they think I’m a cougar?” front, but I have embraced the upsize, much to Simon’s dismay. In 2012 he will finally turn 30, or is that 31 … or 29? Who knows!

My friends, and annoying little brother, still dine out on the age difference – jokes-a-go-go at my expense – but that’s okay. Simon is a wonderful husband and a loving dad, and I have learnt to embrace having a hot, younger husband.

I just hate being called a cougar, and sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever completely shake the label, which gives me the utter shits. If a man has a younger partner he is considered a ‘sugar daddy’, not a dirty old man. He is put on a pedestal like some kind of sex God, worshipped by all men. Think Hugh Heffner and J Howard Marshall (the late Anna-Nicole Smith’s late hubby).

Admittedly, the ‘older woman, younger man’ thing is becoming more common, thank goodness, but it’s still a long way off being as accepted as the ‘older man, younger woman’ scenario.

Right now, it’s time to put on my big girl’s panties and get on with my day, alongside my hot, younger husband.

Do you have a younger partner? Do you embrace or reject the cougar label?



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2 Responses to “Alli & Genine have been ‘cougared’…”

  1. Lisette March 20, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    Hi Alli & Genine! Thanks for reposting Alli’s “Cougar” post! Now I know I have another thing in common with you Alli! I know all about paranoia and thinking that people look down their noses at the 8 year age gap between my partner & I. Or should I say toy boy? Same scenario of leaving a marriage – except I had two very young children, and thought it would be a fling. Nine years later he is a wonderful Step Dad and doting Fiance. On a positive note for my paranoia, is that he works outdoors & with our harsh UV index it has “upsized” him… Am I bad for wishing wrinkles on him? I also have a theory that between the two we have a median age range where we add our 2 ages, divide by two & we are both 38. Works for me!

    • alli & genine March 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

      Lisette I LOVE your theory. And I am definitely going to steal it! Ha! Yep – we certainly do have a lot in common on the toy-boy front. Thanks for sharing your story and for your support, as always. Alli x

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