The Nap Hotel, Phuket
I bet when you think of a holiday to Phuket, Thailand, you think of sandy white beaches, crystal clear azure waters, coconut palms swaying in the breeze and a Pina Colada in hand … right?
Well yes, that is one part of Phuket’s attraction, but I have recently discovered the real Phuket … the side that isn’t in the tourist brochures or in the movie The Beach. It is Phuket’s tourist capital, Patong.
My husband, Rowan, and I have been holidaying in Patong for a few days now at the modern and perfectly-located The Nap Hotel (http://www.thenappatong.com/). Being the nanas we are, we haven’t even really seen the nightlife. So last night, on a mission to stay up past 9.30pm, we headed out to the brash lights, sewer smells and hustle-bustle of Patong – and I have to admit, it is one sensational, sensory-overloaded place to holiday!
We started off with an early drink down the main tourist strip of Bangla Lane at the aptly named The Crazy Horse Bar (truly). What a place to start! Things were already rocking at 7.30pm with scores of half-dressed Aussie tourists wandering the strip (which gets blocked off to traffic after 6pm) with Tiger beer singlets in one hand and a long neck Singha beer in the other. I was proud to be an Aussie right then and there, especially so when I saw a few of my kinfolk wandering the streets as per above having forgotten their native footwear – thongs – preferring to amble along barefoot. Better to stub a toe and get tetanus than have to worry about matching your thongs to your board-shorts, hey?
Next, we descended on the beach strip that offers up an array of market stalls including (possibly salmonella-infused) satay, seafood and banana crepes mingled with shop after shop selling t-shirts, knock-off bags and Calvin Klein undies (or should that be Kalvin Klein?). What I love most is that you can shop for your wares while sipping on a cocktail, beer or even bourbon and coke from the super cute pink kombi van/drive-up bars dotted along the strip – complete with plastic cups and disco tunes!
Drinks in hands, we headed down a quieter laneway for some Italian-fare at Ristorante Napoli (http://phuketdir.com/ristorantenapoli/), surprisingly served up by an actual Italian. Here we enjoyed people-watching while sipping our Singha beers and devouring our superb meals (try to ignore the faint aroma of raw sewage that floats by from time to time and everything will be fine …). Try the Calzone – super fresh and authentically Italian.
Soon it was time to pick up Rowan’s suit. Yes, he succumbed to the street sellers and had a beautiful dinner suit tailored – all within 24 hours! So back to Bangla Lane we headed (note the time was PAST 9.30pm – no nanas here!) where there was now a throng of tourists and curious families, and a host of American Navy boys, Aussie boys and a few lady boys mulling. We wandered past the street hawkers selling bouncing glow toys and sleeve tattoos, and the ping pong shows (since when did that game become so popular?) to Eras Fashion – an oasis of calm in the middle of chaos – to pick up the suit. With last minute nips and tucks the suit would be ready for hotel drop-off next day, complete with a tailored shirt all for the sum of about 90 Aussie dollars. Bargain!
So, in a desperate attempt to not be categorised as ‘old farts’, we sat ourselves down on a table at the front of The Crazy Horse to watch Patong nightlife at its best. The local ladies had begun to take to the bar tops to commence the famed pole dancing spectacular the area is known for (well, more zombie-like than sexy, but whatever floats your boat), and the Aussies were out in full force. After being accosted for tips by a cocktail waitress who had done nothing but get in the way of people watching, and seeing more than our fair share of lady boys heading off to work, we decided to call it a night … not before we learnt a few lessons in Thai language including, “You want massage?”
All in all, Patong is a perfect spot to base yourself for a truly unique Phuket holiday – especially so if you have a keen interest in ping pong!
Stay … at The Nap. The hotel is only a block from the beach and within walking distance to all the action while not being in the thick of it. Has the best breakfast buffet I have experienced – freshly cooked omelettes, beautiful bircher muesli, freshly made juices and even champagne! Great pool, immaculate rooms and professional spa (which you will pay for but well worth it. No ‘happy endings’ here …)
Eat … Ristorante Napoli for authentic Italian fare
Shop … Eras Fashion for a cheap suit or gown. Quick turnaround and nice guys
Drink … The Crazy Horse for fun, or just pop down to one of the many bars and restaurants along the beach. Cheap as chips and great views. Lovely to watch people set off lanterns over the ocean, sold by the street hawkers
Beaches … head to the beach early to snag well-positioned deck chairs and umbrellas, but be prepared for a day of being harassed by street hawkers and seeing many over-tanned, half-naked, over-weight European men and women …
Tour … try Siam Safari for elephant trekking and canoe rides – the only government-accredited elephant tour. Great Thai lunch too
Genine
x
alliandgenine 
We would love you to leave a reply!